THE BRYCE IS RIGHT

"The Bryce is right."
That was my catchphrase.
In my adolescence and young adulthood, I loved to argue. I was good at it. I had strong opinions, nay, understanding of facts, and I wasn't afraid to let those around me know it. I would debate any issue I felt strongly about until the poor soul who dared offer a dissenting opinion would finally agree with me to basically get me to shut up. I won. The Bryce is right.

The Bryce was a bit of a jerk
I was good at winning arguments, but that meant I was also good at making people feel less intelligent, marginalized, and looked down upon. I beat them into submission. The Bryce was right.. but. What was the PRICE of Right?

Dale Carnegie wrote, "A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still".

While congratulating myself for winning arguments, I had lost the esteem of friends, and those who would be my friend. I had damaged whatever cause I was advocating for by being abrasive, and failing to change the heart of the people I tried to convince. The price of right is far too great.


2020
I've mellowed out quite a bit over the years. I feel comfortable in my beliefs, and don't really see a need to make excuses or defend my views. I think my actions speak for themselves. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and hope the same in return.

I have been blessed to be surrounded by a diverse network of family and friends. I wouldn't be the person I am today without the love and influence of so many different people, and am grateful to have them in my life. Many of these friends share very differing philosophies and opinions. Each individual sees the world in their unique way, and has their own view on how to make it better. Each of these people, who I love and respect, have in varying degrees, sometimes agreeing, or opposing views on how to make the world better, safer, and happier. This is great, and is as it should be.. until somebody needs to be....

RIGHT.


Horseshoes and hand grenades
Thanks to the digital age, we each live in a personalized echo chamber. Our opinions are affirmed daily by articles, posts, and comments presented to us by algorithms that anticipate what we are wanting to hear. Communication on social media removes the face to face aspect of discourse, allowing us to tell others "how we really feel". With the stroke of a few keys, we have the ability to swoop down and publicly beat into submission any soul who dare share a view that we disagree with.

If the pen is mightier than the sword, the keyboard is a hand grenade.

People get blown up.

The Thing About Horses
I spent four years of my childhood on a ranch in Idaho. We had a couple of horses and a bunch of cows. One morning, when my dad was out of town, I was woken by my Mom telling me that the horse had gotten out, and I needed to catch him.
I was 11 years old. I was the man of the house.
I grabbed my lasso, the key to the four-wheeler, and was off to save the day.

I chased that stupid horse all over the place. I couldn't get anywhere near it. Finally, he ran a mile down our gravel road to a neighboring ranch. The man who owned it stopped me to ask what I was doing. I proudly explained my Dad was gone, the horse got out, and I was going to catch him. The man laughed and told me to hold on a minute. He left and a short time later came back with a bucket of grain. He started shaking the bucket, and walked slowly toward the horse. The horse walked right up to the man, started to chew happily on the grain, and was led calmly back to his enclosure. I was a little embarrassed. I thought I could make that horse do what I wanted it to, and I had wasted a lot of time and energy trying to do so. I couldn't push him.
I needed to lead him.
 
KaBooom
While the keyboard is like a hand grenade and has a huge blast radius, it leaves a wake of carnage. It’s tempting to seek relevance by participating in arguments online.  We become vicious warriors in whatever cause we champion.
Sadly, sometimes cherished friendships and associations fall victim, casualties of sociopolitical war. 

It’s the price of right.    
 
Not gonna go there
You may have noticed that I haven’t addressed any of the major polarizing issues that seem to have triggered this blog. 

I don’t intend to. 

I don’t have the answers to the world’s problems, and while I do have some pretty strong opinions, I don’t feel it appropriate to force them upon you. 
I will however submit the following for your consideration. 
 
Circles
We each have our own unique circles of direct influence.  These circles start as relationships with parents and family.  They expand to our friends and work associates, and from there to partners, spouses, and children.  Our circles continue to expand as our influence on others carries through in their interactions within their circles of influence.  Nurturing and cultivating the relationships within these circles gives us the most direct and effective means to change world for better (whatever your view of better happens to be).  If you are considered a safe place by the people within your circle of influence, when they are seeking answers, you are more likely to be the one to whom they turn for advice. This is the golden opportunity, and is where you can truly make the world a better place. Hearts are changed in quiet conversation.
 
Who is right?
You are. 
I am. 
Anyone who has taken the time, put in the effort to make the world around them better. 
​Anyone who shows love to the people around them.  Anyone who builds greatness in others.